


boys under the age of 18 are illegal

by justhavesex



Category: Shingeki no Kyojin | Attack on Titan
Genre: Comedy, M/M, Smut, don't fuck minors kids, eren is a lil piece of shit in this fic, lots of kinky sex stuff in this fic, student!eren, teacher!levi, this fic isnt even 1 percent serious
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2016-08-23
Updated: 2017-05-23
Packaged: 2018-08-10 13:03:53
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 3
Words: 5,077
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/7846141
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/justhavesex/pseuds/justhavesex
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>There's absolutely nothing wrong with sleeping with your teacher after lying that you were legal. Is what Eren is in firm denial about. Levi begs to differ.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. Prologue

**Author's Note:**

> Okay before anyone says shit i do not condone ppl sleeping with underage brats nor do i agree with rape (this story has no rape, ONLY HAPPY CONSENSUAL SEX) but like wait till they're like 16 before u fuck anybody oK because going to jail isn't funny. ORANGE IS THE NEW BLACK IS LYING TO YOU, IT ISN'T FUN OKAY

 

 

 

Eren is, first and foremost, a terrible liar.

"I'm 19," he blatantly lies to this hot-guy leaning against the post of the gate to his new apartment when said guy asked because apparently Eren looks like a fetus and Eren was attempting to hit on the stranger smoking outside near his new home in hopes of getting laid. Truth be told he's only turning 16 this March, but, said hot-guy doesn't need to know that. Said stranger offers him a disbelieving look, one that obviously screams ' _You are not 19, you're barely 6 so please go away_ ' but Eren's always been persistent so he just stands there.

Silently.

Staring.

"Fine. Whatever."

Whoever said that Eren can't woe a man into sleeping with him—cough, Jean, cough—was obviously dumber than him because he literally just gave the bed eyes to this absolute stranger and now he wants to sleep with him. If that isn't being hot as fuck then, well, Eren isn't quite sure what is. The stranger stays absolutely silent, eyeing Eren up and down with obvious reluctance. "I better not have the cops knocking on my door tomorrow."

"They won't," Eren promises breezily, "I'm legal."

"I'm Levi," his neighbour says, flicking his cigarette to the ground before shoving his hands into his pockets. "I don't do bottom so you're getting it in the ass."

"Okay?" Not that Eren really knows what he's saying, because he's pretty sure nobody get's anything in their ass aside from hemorrhoids and a possible up-coming shit. He feels slightly worried that his potential sleeping partner is an idiot, because why is he talking about 'getting it up the ass?' but in possibility that he's misunderstanding something, Eren doesn't comment. Simply pretending that he understands what's going on. Levi stands there, his face pulled into a look of true concern that Eren is a bit messed up in the head, before Eren jolts in realization. "Oh. I'm Eren."

"Fucking genius..." Levi murmurs grumpily before rolling his eyes and cocking his thumb to the vagueness of the third floor, "My place is there, let's go."

"Okay," Eren agree's easily, happily following after Levi.

 _Stupid Jean, I can totally get laid_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

He does get laid.

Albeit, it's one of the most painful experiences in Eren's short life-span and Eren spends a good four hours after having sex with Levi laying on Levi's kitchen floor moaning about the pain. In absolute despair. While they were having sex it was one of the most fantastic things in the world (Eren came _twice,_ twice!) and he never really thought he'd enjoy sucking somebody's dick as much as he enjoyed sucking Levi's but _still_ —it hurt. Well, now it hurts.

Levi is silently sipping on his tea, sitting on the kitchen counter as he looks down at Eren with a lifted eyebrow, obviously somewhat amused.

 _Bastard_ , Eren amends his thoughts too. "I need to get home soon."

"You can't walk," Levi points out, sticking his thumb in the general direction of Eren's ass as to remind Eren _why_ he can't currently walk, before he takes another sip of tea. "But if you can crawl yourself out of here, be my fucking guest."

Levi pauses, head tilted to the side. "And now I'm horny again, hey, brat—"

" _No_!" Eren places his face into the tiled floor grumbling something about trolleys and the demise of the homosexual race. Stupid Levi and his stupid— _delicious_ —cock. Almost in realization, "Why did your dick taste like strawberries?"

"Lube," Levi grunts.

"Ohhhhh..." Eren rolls onto his side, looking up at Levi with squinted eyes. "It tasted good."

"Wanna suck it again?" Levi says boredly, reaching into his pocket and taking out a cigarette before lighting it, he takes a long drag out of it as Eren weighs the pros and cons of sucking Levi's dick again. Really, he can't really do anything with his legs right now, but his mouth on the other hand... Eren pursues his lips thoughtfully before grunting a carefree ' _why not_ ', and Levi jumps off the counter and picks Eren up. "Were you possibly dropped on your head as a kid?"

"Probably," Eren agree's, wrapping his arms around Levi's neck, feeling a lot better about the whole situation now until Levi abruptly throws Eren onto his bed—which contains multiple cum stains from Eren—and Eren scrambles to his knee's just as Levi pulls out his limp dick from his jeans, Eren scowls at him. "Lube?"

"My dick isn't a strawberry dick," Levi says, except he's reaching for the lube behind him on his dresser anyway, and slowly he pours the shit on his cock, Eren smiles brightly.

"Haha," Eren laughs dryly before opening his mouth greedily.

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eren misses class Monday because his ass hurts too much, his mom fusses about him breaking a hip like an old man, but Eren manages to force himself out of bed Tuesday morning and head to class. Except he tugs on his uniform and puts his backpack on his shoulders before opening the door, to which he begins to head out and tragically ends up running into Levi.

Levi looks at him for a good eight seconds before he says, "Oh _fuck_ no."

Eren breaks into a full on sprint.

He, amazingly enough and for the first time in his entire life, ends up to school half an hour early. Which just leaves him panting in the school bathroom as he wipes off his sweat. _God_ , he hates running. Honestly at that moment Eren had sincerely believed he had escaped his neighbour and the repercussions of lying about his age. One could have even said he was worry free.

He still ends up 10 minutes late to class—the first day, may he add—and doesn't really feel like even dropping a cup eight times could explain the terror Eren suddenly feels when his neighbour is literally his _teacher_. His teacher. He fucked his teacher. He told his teacher he was _19_. He FUCKED his teacher.

( _Who had strawberry lube and a big cock and_ —)

Eren actually feels dry vomit in his mouth.

Levi doesn't look any better, honestly.

Except Eren promptly forgets his teacher technically (by law, at least) raped him and looks past Levi to where Annie is making a throat slitting motion because Eren had hijacked her playstation and had broken it before summer break. Ha. He almost forgot about that. She had sent him a total of 87 texts— _death threats_ —relating to what she's going to do to Eren once she get's her hands on him, and the only thing that had kept Eren alive over the summer was that Annie didn't know his address and no one would give it to her knowing that she would full on throttle Eren.

It's in this exact moment Eren realizes one thing:

"I've fucked up."

 

 

 


	2. when following the law gets you nowhere, fuck it

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> HA 
> 
> second season bitches, im so ready each chap gonna be around 2k (which is short for me) cause this is a crack fic and aint no one wanna read like a 6k chap crack fic 
> 
> HAPPY FINALS SEASON, THIS IS WHAT I DID INSTEAD OF STUDYING LMAO!!!! (cries)

 

 

 

_Wow, I'm so popular_.

The thought is obviously sarcastic, because Annie is staring down their homeroom teacher apparently trying explain to him why _she_ needs to 'borrow'—Eren is vaguely under the impression that borrow to Annie means dismantle, though he doesn't have concrete proof—Eren, and Levi is trying to explain to her that he needs to _murder_ Eren first. Eren is slightly thrown off by the fact that his teacher literally said the word 'murder', but Annie doesn't move.

"Same," she says, looks to Eren glowering before looking back to Levi. "He pissed me off months ago. I called his death first."

"Wow, this is nice and all," Eren mutters sarcastically as he inches away from the front of the room and closer to the door, hoping to god his many years spent trying to develop telepathy with Mikasa and Armin has finally come into effect. _Help me_! When no one comes running around the corner he decides it's safe to assume that he's not going to get any help. "But I want to eat lunch."

"Where your going you won't need lunch." Levi hisses back.

Eren blinks.

"Um—"

Eren diverts his eyes just as Levi pins him up against a wall, facial expression bordering between homicidal and disgusted.

Eren has done a lot of stupid shit in his whole 16 years of living. Like that time him and Jean had 'who's penis is bigger' competition and Eren ended up cumming on Sasha's backpack, or that time Eren went commando to gym class and his pants fell down and ended up giving Historia a full frontal view of his dick, or that time Eren woke up holding Mikasa's right boob in his hand and— _so_ , Eren's done a lot of stupid shit, sometimes Armin likes to lament how miraculous it is that Eren is still even _alive_. Eren, at this moment, wishes Armin was here just so he could bear witness to Eren's death, so Eren could sarcastically prove that once and for all his stupidity has finally killed him.

He might as well accept it, either Levi kills him or Annie does and at least Levi looks like the type to do the killing swiftly and efficiently. Annie will _definitely_ make him suffer for his crimes towards her play station.

"You got a lot of nerve, brat." Levi says dark, and low, and Eren tries to look at the ceiling, hoping that his guardian angel will finally decide to reveal themselves and wisp him away from all his troubles (that he arguably caused) so he can finally live his life without someone wanting him dead. _Ah_ , what a life that would be. Levi punches the wall beside his head dragging him back to reality. "Pay attention." He snaps.

Eren scans for Annie wondering if her alpha-female traits are going to kick in and then _maybe_ he can be rescued from this shitty situation, but nope-ity-nope, just him and Levi. Eren vaguely wonders if he hears the classroom door being locked, because he's pretty sure Annie just decided that _no_ , Levi wasn't lying about murdering Eren, and decided to leave his death to him. It'd almost be sweet if Eren wasn't about to be murdered because of this touching student-teacher trust exercise.

"I made a bet with Jean!" Eren quips in nervous, backed up against the wall and scanning the area for some form of escape. "Plus, I did _like_ having sex with you...so,"

"So," Levi repeats, almost numbly.

"We should do it again?"

Levi blinks at him.

Four times, to be exact.

"You definitely were dropped on your head as a kid." Levi says slowly and carefully. "We _aren't_ going to have sex again, and you will _not_ mention this to Jean. Tell that fucker you lost your precious little fuck bet. Got it?"

"Got it," Eren quips nervously. Except he's already _kind of_ told Jean (he texted him as soon as Levi's dick was sliding out of his asshole, Levi had even asked 'why are you texting? I'm not done' and Eren had just sent the words ' _I totally got creampied just now_ ' before tossing his phone onto the ground). He wonders if his tiny little white lie shows on his face because Levi's expressions becomes a tad bit _more_ murderous compared to two seconds ago.

"You already told him, didn't you?"

"Not who I did it with!"

"Fuck," Levi grunts, bringing a hand over his face and rubbing it, looking like a washed out old man and Eren doesn't exactly _like_ this expression. He likes Levi's expression when he's about to cum inside Eren for the second time, or how Levi growls low and possessive when Eren had arched off the bed and kissed down Levi's neck _and_ —

"I've got a boner." Eren declares, looking downwards and frowning at said boner.

Levi follows his line of sight and frowns.

"Exactly what about this situation made you fucking _hard_?"

Eren wonders if he should lie, say something like he's a masochist and that's why he was able to stand having sex with Levi so many times, but, alas Eren is without a brain-to-mouth filter. "I was thinking about how you came in me."

"You—" Levi pauses, mouth opening once then closing in a firm flat line. The bell over their head goes off loudly, and Eren secretly fist pumps his victory of surviving yet _another_ day of having his life threatened. "Get to your fucking seat."

"I'm really hungry," Eren whines, " _And_ horny. Can I drink your cum?"

Levi makes a strangled choking noise, "Please sit."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eren never really thought about sex too much before Levi. Sex was an abstract thought muddled with vague ideas on how Mikasa would kill them, probably with a knife and a book labelled ' _10 creative ways to skin a person_ '. Even when he jerked off it was uncreatively towards the wall, and he'd watch his cum splatter on the white paint, let it dry and then hear his mom scream in disgust two days later.

He maybes becomes _slightly_ addicted to sex, with Levi, that is.

He also never really considered that maybe Levi _wouldn't_ have sex with him again, even as he knocked on Levi's front door right after school, bouncing on the heels of his feet as his cock is completely hard to the point it's slightly painful. Levi opens the door, stares at Eren with a blank expression, then to where Eren is painfully palming his hard on and says, "I'm not going to fuck you."

"What?" Eren gasps, affronted by the mere idea. "Can you at least let me masturbate in front of you?"

Levi sighs, pinching the bridge of his nose, "Look, Eren. It's _illegal_ for me to fuck you. Or watch you jack off your little carrot dick, so come back when you're graduated and I'll fuck you."

_Illegal_. Yes, that's right, he remembers Levi saying something like that. Illegal for them to have sex? He has to _wait_ to have sex with Levi? Eren frowns at the mere notion. He doesn't think he can survive just jacking off and shoving his fingers in his ass until he's graduated. _What is it that Armin always does to people_?

"I'll," Eren allows his head to fall innocently to the side, blinking at Levi, "Blackmail you?"

"What." Levi says, looking suddenly _angry_.

"Yeah! Blackmail. I still have the cum I cleaned out of my ass stuck to my shower glass, so you know. Blackmail."

Levi's nose wrinkles backwards in disgust. "You still have—"

"Please fuck me. I really want you to fuck me."

Levi sighs, once and long, before grabbing Eren's shirt collar and yanking him abruptly inside. "Fine. If that's what you fucking want so _badly_ , get on your fucking knees." Eren beams, skipping his way into the living room and dropping onto all fours as he wiggles his ass side to side, excited. Levi is rough, but talented in bed. Levi is _great_ when having sex with.

Levi gives him a quick hard slap on his right cheek, and Eren yelps, shooting Levi a dirty look at that. He opens his mouth to protest against any sort of violent treatment, but falls silent when Levi yanks down his jeans so his ass is exposed, squirting a generous amount of lube _into_ Eren's asshole, and Eren squirms at the coldness, before following the action by shoving two of his fingers into his hole. Eren mewls happily, back arched as he wiggles himself backwards onto Levi's fingers.

"Just put it in already," Eren whines, "Please?"

"Stay still," Levi demands curtly, fingers sliding out of Eren's slippery and wet ass, and Eren looks over his shoulder and _frowns_ when he spots Levi sliding a condom over his dick. Levi shoots him a dirty look, cock curved upwards and rock hard, and frowns. "Well if I don't fucking wear one, your going to be cultivating my semen in your fucking shower, apparently."

"I'll clean my shower," Eren whines, placing his cheek against the ground and presenting himself as far up as he possibly can.

"Fine," Levi grunts, yanking the condom off and throwing it to the side before gripping Eren's hips and slowly easing his way in. Eren moans loudly, fingers uselessly curling into fists as his entire body convulses and tightens, his sight going blurry before he blinks away the feeling, "God _fuck_ ," Levi hisses, cock pushing in and Eren's back arches up, "Did you just cum?"

"Mmh," Eren says, dazed and pleased.

Levi grunts something close to ' _god you're such a..._ ' before leaning forward to press small butterfly kisses against the arch of his spine, "Relax. Let me fuck you."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

Eren rolls onto his back, stomach gurgling in displeasure and he frowns.

_I fell asleep_.

Levi had came twice, once inside him and once all over his face and Eren frowns at the sticky feeling on his eyelid before rolling to the side to see Levi sleeping peacefully and completely clean. Then belatedly realizing something important, Eren grabs his phone and checks the time. _6 AM? What the fuck_.

"Um," he says absently into the air, wondering if Levi would be angry at him if he decided to start grinding himself on Levi's morning boner. He decides it doesn't really matter and yanks down Levi's underwear and does exactly that. His grinding lasts a total of five seconds before Levi kicks him off onto the floor and frowns at Eren.

"Are you always fucking horny?"

"No," Eren says, groaning as he rubs his face into the the hardwood, then moans at the thought of hard _wood_. Eren briefly wonders if he may or may not have an issue. "I'm only like this because of you."

"If it wasn't you saying that I'd actually be touched," Levi hisses back. "Fuck, what the fuck am I doing?"

"Excuse me?"

"I'm going over to your house tonight and cleaning your fucking shower and then we're never doing this again. Got it?" Levi quips out in an almost military like tone, probably thinking Eren is paying attention when in reality Eren is day-dreaming about Levi's cock due to thinking about 'hardwood' and had only heard a total of four words which consisted of 'fuck, going, house, fucking'. Eren took this a sign as 'we're going to fuck tonight' or something along those lines.

"Cool," Eren breezily agrees. "In the meantime can I suck your cock?"

Levi scowls at Eren, "Excuse me?"

"When you kicked me on the floor I thought 'hardwood' and now I'm horny, so, your cock please." Levi opens his mouth twice, failing to produce any response before deciding on a sharp:

"What the fuck is wrong with you?"

Eren simply shrugs.

 

 


	3. don't let your kids shove things up their asses bigger than 10 inches

**Summary for the Chapter:**

> lmao when i checked on this fic i had 666 Hits, i laughed

 

 

 

The worst thing about having Levi as his teacher isn't that Levi is his teacher—and that last night this so-called ' _teacher_ ' tied him to the bedpost and smacked Eren's ass until it was red and sore (it still is), Eren is beginning to think he really _is_ a masochist cause he really enjoyed being spanked and choked into cumming—but that because Levi is his teacher he has to spend at least an hour and a half staring at Levi fantasizing about what they did the night before, almost certainly ends up with a boner, and ends up spending 32 minutes in the washroom willing it away and ending up late to his next class.

So when his first tests are handed back and he ends up with two failing grades, Eren is abruptly pulled back into cold water of _reality_ as Levi slaps the '4 our 48 _'_ graded test onto his desk, eyes practically screaming ' _We will be discussing this later_ ' and Eren hates his life. He reflects on all this as he changes for gym, wishing he could will himself into that previous after sex-glow he's constantly been in for the past month.

"Failing grade?" Armin says, eyes bulging in disbelief. "Eren you're a straight A student, what happened?"

"Yeager failed a test? Ha!" Jean chokes out, lips pulled into a smug smile. Before suddenly, Eren blinks, shirt being pulled off completely before looking to where Armin and Jean are staring at him with giant wide eyes. "Holy fuck Yeager, are you being abused?"

"What?" Eren repeats dumbly, "No? What the fuck Jean don't be stupid."

"Uhh, Jean, those are whip marks, and uh, hickeys?" Armin says a bit more quietly, "Eren put your shirt on."

" _Hi_ —hickeys. Yeager. This Yeager? Oh my god. Are you failing because of that new sex buddy you have?"

" _Jean_!" Eren hisses quickly, face going red as he glances to the _worst possible person for Jean to reveal this too_ : Armin. Who reports to Mikasa who will thus murder Levi—or, in hindsight, Eren guesses she could just tell someone and Levi's entire life would be ruined, but Eren likes to think maybe she'd be merciful and just kill Levi off instead of doing something like that—but he glowers at Jean. "I told you not to tell anyone!"

"Well! He'd know after seeing a back like _that_!" Jean hisses back, rolling his eyes in an exaggerated way. "God, are you like addicted to sex now or something?"

Eren pauses, and says a small disbelieving, "No. Pfft, no of course not. Who get's addicted to _sex_?"

"Apparently you," Jean sighs, rubbing at his face slowly. "How the fuck do you even get shit like that?"

"Being mildly masochistic, apparently." Eren says in a breathless way, the same way Levi had whispered it has he had pulled back Eren's hair and bit his ear as he hissed the words out followed by ' _you dirty slut_ ' before kissing him long and deep. _Ah yes, post-failing grade guilt gone, boner, welcome back_. Eren thinks almost wistfully. Tragically, though, Levi had already texted him ' _You're studying tonight_ '.

"Is this sex buddy the guy you have saved as 'Big Daddy Dick' on your phone?" Armin asks, almost affronted. "Oh my god Eren."

"Don't tell Mikasa please, I'm already being nagged by my sex buddy that I need to study more so don't worry I won't fail again Armin, so you don't need to tell her. I'm okay, like _pssh_ I'm not addicted to sex."

Armin states long and hard—and definitely not believing a single word he just said—before sighing, "If you fail your next tests I'm going to tell her _and_ get you professional help." Before he pauses, "Wait your sex buddy is telling you to study more?"

"Oh," Eren pauses, pulling on his gym shorts and thankful that Jean doesn't decide to comment on the obvious slap mark bruises on his ass cheeks, before shrugging, "Yeah. I mean he made me study for most of my classes in general, but I was kind of _distracted_ during the test." And by distracted he means he couldn't stop following Levi's ass with his eyes, it was just _swaying_ in front of him and he wasn't supposed to look? What kind of person does Levi take him as, a non-sex addicted teen? _God_ , insensitive.

Armin pauses, counts to three, before saying, "Eren, are you fucking a teacher?"

Eren splutters, chokes on air, and actually accidentally spits in Jean's face. "What! Noooo! Definitely no. Hahahahahahaha."

"Oh god," Jean says in half-disgust from the spit all over his face, then to looking at Eren with a look that reads 'boy you fucked up', to which Eren wants to bitterly remind Jean that at _least_ Eren has never accidentally butt-poked his own father into moaning, "Well at least we know it isn't for the good grades..."

"It isn't a teacher!"

"Eren," Armin sighs, hand on his face. "Why are you like this?"

_If only you knew Armin, if only you knew_.

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

"My _ass_ distracted you? What the fuck does that even mean? _Brat_ you only answered 2 of the fucking _fourty-fucking-eight_ questions!"

Eren remains sat on his knees, watching Levi stalk back and forth in front of him like a very large and very angry cat. Levi's been lecturing him for the past ' _fourty-fucking-eight_ ' minutes and Eren's knee's are starting to hurt and definitely not in the good way like Levi is fucking him on his knee's on the floor or something. Just, you know, sitting here listening to a lecture that's wasting precious time that can be spent doing something else. Like, oh he doesn't know, studying, or hey, here's a good idea, _sex_!

"Eren you could have answered all those questions _correctly_. Do you know what kind of reward I had planned for your sorry dumb ass? Now I'm not even going to punish you in the fun way like your dumb self is probably thinking of. Get studying you dumbass and no sex until I say so."

"What!" Eren screams, jolting out of his pose and into an upright position, "Levi you can't do that, you _can't_."

"No," Levi punctuates, as he pushes Eren downwards and to sitting at the table where Eren's homework is laid on, " _Sex_."

"Until when? The next set of tests aren't till like next _month_ , I'm really going to shrivel up and die if we go an entire month without sex, you know I can't live that long. You have to at least like let me blow you or something, I need the taste of cum daily and what am I going to do? I feel horny like 24/7 and—"

"Brat, calm down." Levi says, and Eren immediately shuts his mouth. "I was talking about just today, don't be fucking stupid. If I deprived you of sex you'd honest to god become brain dead." Which is true, the time they went without sex for 5 days Eren had missed 2 days of school and couldn't even muster the courage to get out of his seat at school the other three because the entire world seemed suddenly so drained of any colour, life or meaning. And cum. Mostly devoid of cum, precious cum.

"I'm sorry Levi." Eren says more meekly, softening himself up against Levi's arms—that he's dragged to be wrapped around his shoulders, sneakily—before nuzzling Levi's hands. "I won't do it again. But like the next time we have tests can you like not walk around, please?"

Levi stares hard and long for a few seconds, before saying in an almost awed tone, "You definitely were dropped on your head as a kid."

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

The freaky thing about Levi and him fucking is that his parents actually get _along_ with Levi.

Levi eats dinner with them, his parents know that Eren is—kinda dating? Fucking?— _kinda_ know something is going on with Levi and Eren that is not just a student-teacher relationship and they don't care. They _encourage_ the relationship. They say it's quote, 'good for Eren to have an authority figure he likes in his life' unquote. Eren's mom even bought Eren condoms. _Condoms_. They definitely know. Worst of all, Levi eats dinner with them more often than not. He tells Armin all this, who is shocked. And refuses to let go of the matter of wanting to know what teacher it is.

"Eren failed my class today," Levi confesses, frowning at the food Carla Yeager had placed in front of him, and Eren kicks him under the table it retaliation. "I'm sorry, if you would prefer he be transferred to another class—"

"It's okay," Carla soothes easily, "I'm sure it was Eren's fault and not yours, I know you make him study every night."

_Mostly with whips and and dildos, but yeah, sure, studying_ , Eren thinks grumpily.

"Yeah he's just..." Levi trails off, not tactfully aware of how to say ' _distracted by my ass_ ' in a parental acceptable way. Grisha, his father, looks mildly amused. "Really stupid."

The only reason him and Levi were found out was actually by his father. Grisha had knocked on Levi's door, and waited, only to hear his one and only son moaning—very loud moaning, too—out Levi's name. His dad waited a whole hour, came back, and knocked away to which Eren stupidly opened the door and let his dad in who had the unfortunate misery of spotting two used condoms on the floor and a giant black lumpy dildo that Eren has named ' _Robert_ '. Honestly it was the worst moment in Eren's entire life.

' _So, what is going on_?'

Eren had never seen an adult man—note, Levi—grovel on his knee's so quickly in his entire life. One would think that a parent after being mentally scarred like that would call the police and fuck Levi eight ways to Sunday with legal fee's, but his dad had calmly explained the issues of getting such a large dildo up the ass and stated, very calmly, that Eren should watch out.

' _Your asshole is a delicate thing._ '

Levi's gift was a medical textbook that Grisha demanded he read, a family meeting, and _bam_! just like that, Levi was sucked into his family. Eren isn't sure if it's a weird way for his parents to keep tabs on him or it's his parents accepting Eren is lacking some brain cells and needs a good adult man to take care of him. He isn't really sure. But here Levi is, knitting with his mom as they both chit-chat about how dumb Eren is and some girly soap opera.

"Eren is really a sexual deviant though, isn't he," Eren blinks at this not quite sure where the voice is coming from until he locates his father sipping on his tea, staring off into the distance. "Should have known, when he was a kid he'd always try to deep throat things and then put them in his ass."

"Disgusting," Levi mutters in agreement.

"Hey!" Eren calls back, frowning. "I'm not a sexual deviant!"

"Eren," his father says with a long sigh, "I accept and acknowledge your...strange relationship with your teacher. But, I am your father and I don't want to be treating whip marks when I know how they came about."

Levi whips his head around quickly, eyes wide. "The _fuck_?"

"They hurt," Eren shrugs out, because they _had_ and his dad is a doctor. What does it matter, if he goes to another doctor they'll just end up telling his dad or something. Like ' _hey, Dr. Yeager your son just came in with the back of a sexually active slut_ ' and isn't it better his dad doesn't have gossiping co-workers? He did his dad a favour, honestly.

"Oh Eren," his mother says more sadly.

"Brat, why are you like this."

 

 


End file.
